Mulberry Street

It turns out that trying to be both parent and teacher is tough, like really tough. When you're isolated from everyone else and spend A.L.L. D.A.Y. E.V.E.R.Y. D.A.Y. with your family, it is difficult to focus on various things. We have also discovered that keeping to a schedule has been important for anxiety, but that we need to build in time to process all the feels that arise and fall on a daily basis. This all means that we are trying to be flexible and creative. This also means that as we each try to do our best, we will try to be understanding with one another.   

We converted the dining room into our homeschooling home-base.  I imagine we will be tweaking ideas, schedules and assignments as we figure this out.

...three children later, we couldn't be happier with what our marriage has brought to us.  

Poor Benjamin was diagnosed with chicken pox this morning.  The poor kid has a rash all over his trunk and it's spreading.  At least it's a mild case, according to the doctor, since he had one dose of the vaccine. It's frustrating nonetheless.

I had a moment straight out of this new Mormon Message tonight. Not the one where the mother throws up her hands and defeatedly says "Go to bed!"  No, I have those moments on a regular basis. Rather, I shared the experience when the mom stares blankly during her child's prayer and is suddenly caught off gaurd by something he says. My four-year-old son said in his prayer tonight, "Thank you for the things we ask for," and suddenly I think, I have not been asking for the right things or asking for anything at all.   I had the impression that I needed to get on my knees and ask my Heavenly Father for help raising my children. That I need to pray for each of my three children, by name, with sincerity because my normal pleading-blanket-statement-prayers are not cutting it.  In the hour since, I have reflected on the things I thought I was teaching my children. I swear I've become a broken record, but I told them...again, that when you make a choice, you have...

Emory is a good brother.  He asked if he could give Benjamin a ride in the dump truck and then asked if he could hold Benjamin on his lap.  So I loaded them both up and gave them a ride.  Then everyone took turns.  Yay for big brothers.

Today I vacuumed my stairs. Today I washed five loads of laundry. Today I dropped steamed broccoli down two flights of stairs (the ones I had previously vacuumed). Today I scrubbed cat vomit out of the carpet. Today I bathed my baby. Today I made homemade baby food, then watched my baby gag on it, and eventually spit it out. Today I talked with my sister on the phone. Today I stood my ground while my three-year-old threw two, very long-winded tantrums. Today I skipped exercising and changed from one set of pajamas into another. Today I dealt with a very impressive blowout. Today I let my kids watch hours of tv, which may have included unsupervised YouTube time, while I slept. Today I made peanut butter sandwiches and warmed up leftovers. Today I missed my opportunity for a shower and played Legos instead. Today I am grateful to remember that tomorrow is a new day.

I am grateful for the one-on-one time I have had with my kiddos this weekend.

I thought it was interesting to look back and see the growth of my belly over the course of seven months.  It turns out that I didn't gain much more weight than during my other pregnancies.  I am just older and "things" don't stretch the same way they used to.  Also, gravity seemed to play an ever-increasing role in how I carried this baby.  There is a reason women are physically able to concieve and bear children at young ages.  It's hard to do and age only increases the pain and workload.  Jan 10, 2013 February 28, 2013 April 13, 2013   April 22, 2013 May 5, 2013 30 Weeks June 11, 2013 36 Weeks   June 23, 2013 38 Weeks   June 30, 2013 39 Weeks   July 6, 2013 39 Weeks and 4 Days   August 4, 2013 4 Weeks Postpartum

A few months ago, Eric removed Genevieve's first sliver. As is her nature, Genevieve was very apprehensive and fearful of the potential pain removing the sliver might inflict. In fact, she was so afraid of the pain that she put off taking it out all day. (We must be naive parents, because we really thought she would come around on her own.) When the time came to take out the sliver, it was hurting pretty bad and Genevieve exclaimed, "I don't want this to be my life!" So we held her down and pulled out the sliver. And somehow she recovered. Today, however, when Genevieve got her second sliver, I insisted that we take it out right away. (I didn't want her apprehension to grow out of control again.) So I pulled it out and left her to her tears. Apparently, the one needle prick was too much and since her tears were upsetting both of her little brothers, we had to go to another room. Take a look... YouTube Video YouTube Video She seriously threw a tantrum for at leas...

I'm about to have my third baby.  (Like any day - but for sure in seven days, since Genevieve's late arrival, it's been very important to see the light at the end of the tunnel.) While I questioned our decision to have another baby for the last nine months, I am now extremely excited to meet him or her.  I have felt a bit detached from this pregnancy for many reasons, but the two big ones - Genevieve and Emory - have taken the cake for distracting me from much bonding with the baby in-utero.  However, now that the time has arrived and just about everything is in order (well...we'll settle on names after the birth), I finally feel prepared to labor and deliver this baby.  Tonight Eric and I talked to Genevieve about what to expect with the new baby.  What would happen if I had to leave for the hospital in the night and how she would get to meet the baby.  Genevieve asked if she could touch the baby's head and I told her, "You ...

I'm tired.  Like, really, really, really, exhausted.  I have a to-do list a mile long (including preparing for the impending birth of my next child), but I can't seem to accomplish any of them these days.  Simple things like, packing a hospital bag or doing the dishes, feel like mountains I have to climb.  So instead, I fill my days with trips to the park, running treats to school, or napping in the basement.  Those require the least amount of effort and the least resistance from my kids (they always get to watch TV when I sleep).  I suppose that those are my three priorities right now- playing with my kids, caring for their needs, and resting whenever possible.  (I know that this next line is a straight from my slacker broken record, but I don't want to neglect my appreciation for his help.)  Eric is a gem and picks up so much slack around the house, that I am finally getting over the guilt.  He is the one that says, "Don't feel guilty...

It was a gradual decline, but when I hit bottom, I hit hard. For a few months prior to my "episode," I felt a little different. I even mentioned the word depression out loud a few times, but dismissed the feelings and kept pushing forward. I was trying to get pregnant, I had five more races on the calendar, and two kids at home All. Day. Long. for the entire summer.   I didn’t have a choice, but to ignore my feelings and get on with my to-do list.   Actually, I did have a choice and I chose to ignore my feelings.   I recognize that now. It's really difficult to explain what it's like to not feel like yourself. I'm still not quite sure how to put everything into words. Perhaps that’s because I am still not 100% myself yet, even five months after the “episode.”   The good thing is, I feel more and more like myself all the time.   I’ve learned some valuable lessons about myself, my children, and my relationship with my family.   I have learned that I am not ...

Emory climbed out of his crib one too many times tonight. So I threw in the towel and put him on the bottom bunk in Genevieve's room. The noise stopped after about 30 minutes. I have put off this transition for the past month because, I wasn't ready for the natural consequences of no crib - namely, no more naps. We'll see how it goes tonight and tomorrow at nap time. Though maybe eliminating nap time will also eliminate a bigger issue- waking up at 4:30am with the declaration "I'M AWAKE!" (Yeah and so are the neighbors.) If things don't pan out, I can always buy one of those tent-cover-things for cribs and cage my child in, like an animal.

I'm on my motherhood kick...again, but this time I have things to share. I have said it before and I know I'll say it again and again and again.  I am so blessed to have wonderful women in my life to confide in, to share with, and to learn from.  Most recently, I received an email from my dear friend Alison with a link to this Talk by Elder M. Russell Ballard, "Daughters of God" , which I barely remember from 2008 (probably because I was so new to this mothering thing), but re-read on a day when I needed to hear and feel the spirit tell me what I needed to hear and feel.  The things that stood out to me most are: "I am impressed by countless mothers who have learned how important it is to focus on the things that can only be done in a particular season of life. If a child lives with parents for 18 or 19 years, that span is only one-fourth of a parent’s life. And the most formative time of all, the early years in a child’s life, represents less than one-tenth...

Motherhood has been on my mind a lot these days.   I have not been thinking about the day to day stuff, no, I have been thinking about the big picture stuff, like "Oh crap, I am totally screwing my kids up."    I feel like I am missing something, a big something, and as a result my kids and I are all suffering.    Every woman I have encountered for the last week, I have complained to, shared with, and asked advice from, on the broad subject of motherhood.   During one such discussion, my friend, Catherine said she thought the biggest job we have as mothers, is to grow the thickest skin possible because, the insults are only going to get worse.   I think she’s onto something there.   When I think about growing thick skin, I think I need it to prevent me from taking things so personally.    You know, like when I make a fabulous healthy meal complete with sides and the kids whine and complain for forty minutes, choke down two bites, and...

PHOTO A DAY CHALLENGE - TAKE II 19. GRATITUDE I am grateful that this man is my best friend. 20. IN YOUR BAG Running essentials - socks, shoes, sunscreen.  Not so essential, but nice to have on hand - a watch, a hair brush, a towel, glasses, deodorant, a hat, and clothes.  Really, in this heat, the towel is more essential than the clothes.  Running in humidity is a hot and sweaty business. 21. REFLECTION Sunburned.  This NEVER happened to my firstborn child.  Obviously, this photo is a reflection of my current parenting skills.  What happened?!  What is it about your second or third or fourth or whatever-number-child that makes your parenting skills fall of a cliff?  I'm sorry Emory.  I'm really sorry.

You know what?  Motherhood is hard.  (Here is where I disclaim the fact you will get no sugar coating in this post.  My sister-in-law recently commented on how fun our lives are, based on all my "pretty pictures."  Well, I don't blog about the crappy parts much, because I'd rather move past them and stay focused on the good stuff.  Not that this post is crappy, just honest.) I have often joked with my father about how I dislike being a "grownup."  There are too many responsibilities, way too much stress, and a lot more work than I remember signing up for.  Motherhood is that one "grownup" responsibility that is a daily struggle.  It must be, if the first thing Eric asks me at the end of the day is, "How did today go?" (Am I really that transparent?)  Each day I wake up to a variety of sounds and, depending on which sound is the loudest, sets my mood for the day.  I love waking up to soft chatter, infused with "Mommy" her...

My heart is melting today.  My kids are happy and playing well together.  They even posed for the camera.  What a day!

Count them.  One.  Two. Three. Four.  Yes, four steps.   Genevieve has become a fearless daredevil.  I love that her confidence has grown and continues to grow.  Now, I need to remember to include the words "practice makes perfect" when I acknowledge her accomplishments.  If Genevieve doesn't get things easily and has to work a little bit harder, I don't mind.  I want her to learn the importance of hard work.  We've taken a little hiatus from reading lessons.  They were becoming pretty miserable for both of us.  I'm not sure what changed, but we took a break.  Maybe our break was too long, because now Genevieve gets super frustrated when she can't get the words right the first time.  Her body language tells it all - immediate slumped shoulders (if not a full on roll from the chair), drooping head, and limp arms.  She makes this audible breath/sigh ...